I’ve realised that I become very anxious before a night out and not just because of “the perfect outfit” or my bank balance. It’s other people. Now I wonder if they realise.
A month ago, a good friend of mine invited me out for a drink, on the Friday
(yesterday, 24th August). I turned them down because I had big plans for
Saturday and Sunday. Had.
Today (25th August), I received texts cancelling all my weekend plans. Sigh. I wouldn’t be so bitter if this was a one off but it’s not.
My plans had included a friend’s birthday celebrations and SW4 festival. I had
delayed meeting my friend, who I hadn’t seen in a while but I’d also been saving money because I’m moving next month too. Bad timing.
Mooooreover, I borrowed money from my brother for the SW4 ticket and he then cleared my debt as a birthday present but at this rate I’ll be going alone.
I would be more understanding if this was the first time but I’ve had instances
of waiting an hour for my friends, in rain, snow and sunshine. I’ve had to leave gigs early, where I paid for both the tickets. Basically, there’s a long list of embarrassing stories where I’ve been a bit of a doormat.
It’s now got to the point where I dread organising a night out or committing to plans. I now fear being all dressed up with nowhere to go or pandering to other people (even on my birthday).
The faux pas that really gets on my nerves is when you’ve been waiting for people and they’re late because they were drinking while getting ready. I’ve been sitting at a bus stop, in the rain and they have been enjoying themselves, without me. Fabulous.
By the time people show up, after the millions of re-scheduling “I’m on my way” texts, I have a building rage. I have been known to get angry, when I have gone particularly out of my way (more so than I’m willing to post here) and they have been an hour and a half late but usually I just get on with it.
My coping mechanism does not go great for me. I generally head to the bar, itching for service while they re-do their make up and what-not. I try to relax but often I’ve comfort eaten in anticipation of the evening and the alcohol doesn’t kick in till I’m left talking about depressing rubbish and looking after drunks.
Then there’s the dreaded times they turn up horribly late and leave really early. It feels like a waste of an evening to go home and I just don’t want to leave after such a shambles. It’s like an hour build up to nothing.
Maybe this is why people get into relationships, so they have someone to hang out with while they wait for their friends to show up. Sorry, that was a bit too cynical but I’m in that kind of a mood.
Everyone has been late somewhere and in the past I was definitely a culprit because I usually go out alone (even when I’m in a relationship). It’s just getting to the point where they’re really late and the continued last minute cancellations, it doesn’t feel worth it.
I can’t think of a suitable solution to this problem. I’ve tried getting ready with them (which has meant two trains to their’s then going out), organising things further in advance (they get cancelled) and being spontaneous (I’m left waiting in the rain).
Has anyone else experienced this? I know they have on hellogiggles but any solutions? What to do if you’ve got tickets and are left with no takers? Help.