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Writing Exercises are tricks writers have given to keep active and prolific. I emulate the style of fiction writers, just for funzies. Feel free to comment with your attempts.

I offered readers (my friends) the chance to give their versions of the enigmatic CSI: Miami character, Horatio Caine’s infamous one-liners. The crime drama character, played by  David Caruso (Hill Street Blues and NYPD Blue) has attracted attention for his statement statements.

If you aren’t familiar with CSI: Miami here are some of our favourites from Lieutenant Horatio Caine which led to a Twitter-off between me and former Insightful Waffle writer Joel Goodman.

CSI Miami – Horatio Caine One-Liners

Insightful Waffle (Me)

Alex: “Looks like he was strangled in the trailer park” Horatio: “Well Alex, it looks like we’ve got one red neck”

Frank: “He was beaten from all angles in a light bulb factory” Horatio: “Well Frank, many hands make light work”

Frank: “He was judge and it looks like he died during sexual relations” Horatio: “Well he was banged to rights”

Joel Goodman

“The comedian was shot on stage.” “Looks like he *puts on shades* was up against a tough crowd.”

Frank: “He’s gambled for the last 15 years.” Horatio: “It seems he’s *puts on shades* All outta luck.” YEAHHHHH!

Victim found in library. “It looks like this case *puts on shades* is about to be written.” YEAHHHHHHH!

And the winner is: *Looking at a crime group using the net for co-ordination.* “It looks like that link *puts on shades* is broken.”

For our regulars, Supernatural did their very own CSI: Miami Spoof.

The best comment received (on the former website):

Jamie Mark Skelton

“Sir we’ve just found Rick Astley’s car at the bottom of the ravine”

“Well it’s seems like Rick…… couldn’t stop rolling”