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ProcrastinationRandomAwkwardAwesomeLolOverused phrases, to the point of meaninglessness. Yet it’s bloody difficult to just not use them. You loathe them yet you do it yourself.

You know no one is amazed by something despite what their ‘status’ says and nothing is truly new. You know no one is really going out of their way to avoid work even though their emoticon is crying over their futile “procrastination”.

It is just called living. But, guess what? It has a boring parts and yeah that IS most of it but no, I don’t care.

Do something interesting and stop complaining that you are not. Instead, be brave, enjoy not working. I do not want your “virtual” communications and complaints that you’re lazy or (while we’re here) about football because I’m not doing either for a reason.

For future reference: bumping into someone, not random. Why? If you know them you probably hang out in similar places, shocking. And a fox in your garden, not random. Why? They’re an animal and live in gardens, shocking. Unless you are counting the whole “the universe is a random series of events” angle, unfortunately in the universe your little happenings still aren’t really worth comment, just saying.

I don’t know about you but every social interaction could be deemed jarring and “awkward”, hence the beautifully created and institutionalised social lubricant: alcohol. Try it some time. Seriously. It works. You can go out there, drink, meet people and not be bored. No shit. On the other hand, “virtual” communications were invented with the bonus that you can edit yourself. Edit out the boring people! Edit out the boring!

I’m guilty. I have a limited online vocabulary. I’m a lover of the emoticon. What was my point again? Ah. The internet is not an excuse to not go out there and live or to bore other people when you’re bored. It’s a place to learn and entertain, to discuss and democratise opinion. Stop bastardising it with the fact that you are lazy and uninteresting. You are clogging up one of the most, if not THE most, innovative inventions of humanity. You hear it all the time: life is short.

Frankly, I do not care about your boredom and time wasting but how about try sharing something a little more interesting. Whether you choose intellectually, aesthetically, comically or even sardonically interesting, bring it. You can work a computer, use it. Then you might not be so bored or boooring.

The internet may be inundated with blogsTumblrWordPress and Blogger, to name a few. This only gives you more voices to argue with. One of the greatest utilisations of the internet that I have heard recently was from a lecturer who would go onto a certain disreputable newspaper’s website; let’s call it I Wouldn’t Wipe My Arse With It Daily, To Post To My Enemies In The Mail dot com. He would make comments on articles arguing with people and it got to the point where he had two accounts so he could argue with himself to make a point. Even if more people just did that: brilliant.

I am sure there is a multitude of ways for people to get out there and share their views in new, interesting and entertaining ways. Please do. And let us know what you get up to because dear readers I want you to make me proud. I feel an ongoing feature coming our way. Make it from you.