Moving to London and being single is a daunting prospect for a lot of people, nevermind out-of-work graduates. In London it’s easy to get trapped in your group and not meet anyone new. There’s so many ways to meet people so I’m going to give it a go, starting with online dating for music lovers so you can know what to expect.
The social networking website last.fm records your music tastes, then offers a variety of recommendations: events, bands and a personalised radio station for you. Recently, a new dating website Tastebuds has been created to find people with similar music taste to you, based on your last.fm or music you enter into the site. This is one girl’s account into the world of online music-taste-based dating.
I began by immediately checking my matches between 18 and 29, I had 77 (if there’s no one who looks interesting what’s the point, right?). I picked out my top five and made them “favourites”, becoming a fan of them.
Then I got straight to work on my profile. Like any user-generated website this involved adding (the best) pictures of me and the (“cool”) things I’m interested in. Yet I tried to remain as honest as possible. For me this included putting the kooky rom com film Waitress under my interests, alongside guy-friendly films like Fight Club (which is actually my favourite film).
I hesitated in messaging anyone. I convinced myself I was joining to meet other gig-goers and music fans in London because, truth be told, I’m in desperate need of gig buddies. My self-deception is based in truth but you still find yourself harshly judging the interests of others under the scrutiny of a potential match. Then the messages started arriving, day one.
Less than two weeks later, twenty men had messaged me and ten have become fans of me, though few of my fans have messaged me. I am getting over ten messages a day. I have been asked out by two correspondences. It has become a little daunting. I did not expect any responses; it had not yet entered my thinking that it was a possibility. This may seem odd but apparently my self esteem is not the highest or I’m used to being the pursuer, one of them.
Through talking to fellow music fans I have learned a lot about independent cinema and new music, which has been fun and had some friendly chats with nice guys. However, the online aspect always attracts one or two crazies, I’m obviously exhibit A. But exhibit B is a guy who asked my name in his initial message so I told him my username as a divergence. He then googled me and proceeded to read articles I’d written at University and TOLD ME about it. I did not reply.
If nothing else, meeting people in London could only benefit me by getting me out more and by getting into the dating game more. I’ve never really been a dating gal so this is new territory in more ways than one. Now I’m in my twenties I think you have to date to meet people or get into a relationship.
Some people who messaged seem to have interesting music taste and past times but others I’m not sure how they came across me when they don’t have as much in common with me. It may be that their parameters for meeting someone aren’t as strict as mine (I got one message from Lithuania). I now have 82 matches and more messages coming every day.
At the moment this is fairly new to me and I don’t know how I feel: whether it is positive or negative. Most conversations pass questions back and forth, some more openly on a “Top 5 …” basis and some more naturally. I think I prefer the more natural approach as it seems closer to reality.
People are more honest in online dating than people would think, as they intend to meet the person they are talking to or it’s at least a possibility. This makes it feel less fabricated than I thought it would be. I have built some time saving rules: if someone doesn’t ask me a question, unless the message is a brave ‘Hi’ or something similar, I don’t reply. If someone does seem fabricated or write a lot about themselves, as if I should be immediately interested in their entire life story, then similarly no reply.
I’m chronicling my foray into online dating to show one way the internet is now used, by a lot of people, and how entertainment can affect the outcome of online dating. These conversations have been what I’ve been craving, in terms of discussing my more obscure tastes but only time will tell if it goes any further.
My top 5 tips for diving into online dating:
1.) For first-timers choose a free website because this may be like joining a gym: you have good intentions but rarely use it, making it a waste of money.
2.) Choose a website that fits your needs because there are so many options now, be sure to choose one that attracts people like you whether your age, interests or who live near you.
3.) If you’re too shy to message people don’t worry because you’re new to the website people will message you, building your confidence.
4.) Be honest on your profile and in questionnaires because the point of online dating is to meet a good match, without the hassle of hunting through nightclubs. You can pick and choose what to include or skip questions but it’s fun when someone messages you because of an obscure interest.
5.) Don’t say you’re self concious in your profile because I find this annoying. Everyone using the website finds it odd writing a profile or talking about themselves, not knowing who will read it, there’s no need to point it out.